After 22 months, there are still days that I just don’t think that I’m cut out to be a dad.

Then there are the other kind of days when I burst with pride at her wisdom, laugh myself to tears at her wit and hope beyond hope that she will be a woman that listens to and openly love the people around her.

Those second kind of days happen more and more often lately.

This is an oldie, but goodie. While Amy was pregnant, we were featured in Pregnancy Magazine.

Check it out: http://www.pregnancy360.com/you/its-time-talk-money-honey

Just came across this posted review of DudetoDad.com and it made my day.

“What would you do with 100 days left until you leave your dudehood behind? Read this Dad’s humorous day to day account from pregnancy to raising a baby. Donate to Mrs. Dude’s Boob Fund, check out video reviews on the best breast pumps, and get a dude’s perspective from a preacher, a father of four and the original dude himself on whether to breastfeed or formula feed. This dude to dad caters to all of the men out there. Finally!” – stet1

Thanks to Bobby and June George for allowing us to visit Baan Dek Montessori and discuss Montessorium.

Visit their blog to hear about the visit and see the video:

http://montessorium.com/blog/2010/8/22/stories-that-matter.html

Originally Printed on http://www.expectingwords.com/

1. Parenting isn’t a situation where MacGyver or Mr. T are going to be of any assistance to you. There are no solutions to this dilemma.

Perhaps the biggest misconception that I had coming into fatherhood was that I would somehow be able to “figure out” my child. Oh, I knew there would be stages. I had heard about the terrible twos and teething, but I imagined that between these milestones I would figure the super-secret song or noise or funny face and that I would magically disarm the greatest of tantrums and tears.

This was incredibly misguided and now feels borderline stupid. Any “solution” you come up with lasts 30 minutes at most. In many cases, it only lasts about 30 seconds. Get used to it. Keep trying. Go Dad!

2. You will never again be able to make a single decision without considering the impact on your child.

Since the birth of my daughter, there have been no decisions that have been made without considering the impact on her. This is true in use of money, use of time and prioritization of life’s many scheduling conflicts. This doesn’t mean that I always make the perfect decision, but it means I consider them in light of her.

Prior to the baby, there were purchases that would be made very impulsively without a consideration of impact. Prior to the baby, I worked some long nights and extended social gatherings engaged in without a handwringing thought about a waiting meal or wife.

I can be honest in saying that even marriage didn’t have this impact on me. (My dear wife, Mrs. Dude, wasn’t terribly excited to hear this, but it is absolutely true.)

If fathers were being completely candid, I think they would have to admit that even in their actions that are less-than-fatherly they still consider the impact on the family.

3. Picture the worst possible imaginable disturbing (borderline criminal) thing that could be done to you by a child, increase it by several orders of magnitude and expect it to occur weekly.

I’m going to leave out some details here. It’s for your own good. You see, my daughter has had some digestive disorders in these first couple months that have required group participation in the process of waste excretion. I know this is vague language, but I can assure you it’s better that way.

In less eventful activities, my daughter has managed to project formula vomit into my ears. I have been covered from elbow to shoulder in a goop that most closely resembles the most incredibly foul baby poop mixed with a liquid form of death.

There is nothing sweet or adorable about this. It’s just a fact.istock_000001923756xsmall_mommymonster

4. Your wife at her best will be a fundamentally different person than the woman you met on your first date. Your wife at her worst will be an infinitely more terrifying person than the monster you imagined under your bed as a child.

There is no judgment implied in this. Plain and simple, the rules have changed. Learn the rules and it will all be fine. (Editor’s note: Mrs. Dude smiled and nodded when I read her this realization.)

5. Know your limits. If you don’t know your limits, trust friends and family when they tell you that you’ve reached them.

This is not to say that we are all ticking time bombs, but I have heard too many fellow moms AND dads say through tears “This is never going to end. I am never going to sleep. I can’t handle this anymore.” to believe that I am the only one.

Speaking personally, there are times (each and every day) when parenting is completely overwhelming. You are exhausted, the baby is inconsolable and the tension between you and your wife is high. Unless you learn to recognize when you just can’t handle any more stress (emotionally, spiritually, physically), there is a high likelihood that you will put yourself in a position to do and say things that you wouldn’t normally think possible.

So step away. Take a deep breath. Call a friend. But most importantly, acknowledge that you are overwhelmed and don’t take it out on your spouse or child.

BONUS # 6: This change…this baby…represent an opportunity to change life for the better. Please, please, please take advantage of it.

I don’t care whether you’re fighting addiction, have crappy financial management skills or just need to “grow up”, this baby gives you an excuse to become a better person. It’s like a reset button in life. Focus on the future and on something other than yourself and you’ll be amazed at what’s possible. I have friends and family members who struggled with all sorts of demons. Their decisions to embrace fatherhood and become good dads have made all of the difference in their life. Take the challenge. Make a commitment. Be a great dad and an even better person! Your kid is depending on you.

Just finished a radio show with another new Dad. Hope you enjoy it.

http://www.hot1047.com/shows/andy/32-andy-stuff/6022-dudetodadcom.html

Originally published on dadomatic.com

A few months ago, I took some artistic license with a popular online video to create “Dude to Dad (Changing More Than Just Diapers) feat. Barack Obama.” For me, it was a rally cry for a new generation of dads. My hope was was that it might lead to “change” and I thought that was the only thing I shared with President-elect Obama.

As I sit in my office this morning watching the masses congregate in Washington, I can’t help but think beyond all of the pomp and circumstance. Soon-to-be President Barack Obama signifies many things for many people. For me, in my current life situation, he’s simply another Dad.

After the flowing speeches and the fancy balls, he returns “home” to his daughters and the same challenges that we all face. Recently, he wrote a letter for his daughters which was printed in Parade magazine.

Obama writes, “These are the things I want for you: to grow up in a world with no limits on your dreams and no achievements beyond your reach, and to grow into compassionate, committed women who will help build that world.”

As I wait for my first child (a girl!) to be born, I have often wished/prayed/hoped for the same things. It seems my President and I may have more in common than I ever realized.